Love Bytes: The Friend Request

Content to Commerce covers social’s influence on many aspects of life- from industry to parenting to sports. So, in a quest to make sure every element of the social experience is addressed here on our blog, I’m going to tackle an all-important topic: dating… in a socially saturated world.

Dating is hard enough.

If it were easy, that guy would have called, you wouldn’t fret for hours about the superfluous smiley face in your last text and you would have learned to love that college boyfriend that was nice but had such an unfortunate laugh.

If it were easy you wouldn’t be single.

But here you are, or should I say, here we are, bumbling around, trying on shoes for size, hoping to find our sole mates. It’s always been an arduous process, but about 20 years ago when Al Gore invented the internet the whole thing went from rom-com to horror flick.

There’s a lot to the topic of dating in the digital landscape. There are the pitfalls of Facebook interaction, the intricacies of Twitter politics, the grey area of Instagram interaction… Every week there’s a new social platform to embarrass yourself on. Should you follow that-guy-that-only-texts-you on Pinterest? Should you be concerned that his Pinterest account is filled with kittens and cupcake recipes? There’s just too much to digest at once. So today, let’s start with the simplest of things.

Facebook Friend Requests

Facebook is the most basic dating dilemma because, well, everyone has one. If they don’t they are a serial killer.

It’s a given that the second you learn your love interest’s last name you’ll Google-stalk him to the best of your CSI-trained abilities. But once you’ve tried to peek at his Linked In profile without fully clicking on it (thank you new “Who’s Viewed My Profile” feature) it’s time to get to the real test: Facebook.

What does his profile picture say about him? Is his cover photo another one of the yawn-worthy sunset scenarios or worse, a photo of himself? We’ll break down what the single person’s Facebook page says about them in a later blog, but first you should consider whether or not you want to be Facebook friends.  A premature request screams “I’m creeping!” and waiting too long might look like you’re hiding something (like a ferret collection or penchant for Crocs…). Here’s how to tell if your timing is right.

Your Request is Premature If:

1.  You don’t know how to spell his last name (or, you don’t know his last name).

2. You’ve never had a proper phone conversation (like that thing when you hear the other person’s voice or whatever).

3. You’re not sure whether you’re interested in him or not.

4. You haven’t cleaned out all those photos of your ex-boyfriend.

5. You have more than 45 pictures of your cat in your most recent photo album.

My advice? Wait until the third date to become Facebook friends. By then you hopefully know if you like each other enough to include this new person in the intimacies of your digital life. It’s a big commitment after all- you’re stuck with his grainy mobile uploads from sporting events for at least a few months (at which point it becomes somewhat forgivable to unfriend, a whole different blog post, my friends).

Happy friending! Let me know if you agree in the comments.

Hey! I also blog and tweet, if you’re into that kind of thing.

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  2. 09/4 2012

    I am privy to the premature friend request – the worst is when their profiles are completely private and you become SO curious. I will have to contain my snoopiness in the future. Thanks for the wise words of wisdom, Jessica!

  3. 09/4 2012

    Nikki, I hear you. As they say, curiosity killed the romance.

    Well, they may not say that, but I do.

    Thanks for reading! 🙂

  4. Eddie
    09/5 2012

    Is this supposed to be a humor piece because Al Gore did not invent the internet and you spelled soul mate sole mate?!?! I find it hilarious so kudos to you hun but most of what you wrote makes sense but at the same time we all have been there done that…so I feel you girl!

  5. 09/5 2012

    Hey Eddie, thanks for taking the time to comment. Yes, this was written with humorous intent. I wish Al Gore actually invented the internet, it would have much better, side-swept hair. I think he got a little confused when saying this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnFJ8cHAlco.

    Regarding sole mates versus soul mates, forgive my pun-prone nature. I chose sole instead of soul in reference to all of us trying on “shoes for size.”

    Thanks for reading!

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